Adulting 101

Somebody shoulda told me it would be like this, be like this, be like this

J. Cole- False Prophets

Being abroad, especially for a long time, is a lot like going off to college. I am very far from home, very out of my element, and tasked with the seemingly impossible challenge of finding success. Unlike going off to college for the first time, I have had practice. I’m used to being away from my parents and family, I’ve grown comfortable with being uncomfortable, and I made it out here for 21 years, and counting. This ain’t my first rodeo, so I should be fine… right?

Turns out, I’m gonna make it! Like I said, this ain’t my first rodeo. It is rather my first rodeo on “hard mode”. I have fewer safety nets, less free time to take breaks(hence the gap in these blog posts), and fewer instructions. Being out here– like being at Howard– has shown me the importance of mastering one very crucial skill: freestyling.

Freestyling: The art of creating solutions to problems as they come. Going with the flow.

Freestyling has reminds me that I don’t have to be completely in control to feel secure, and that the illusion of control is a shackle. A shackle to routine, a shackle to patterns and habits, and a shackle to fear. I freestyle nearly every day with lots of challenges I face, from changing plans around Caleño traffic patterns, to freestyling dinner. Freestyling has taught me how to be a better adult, and helps me be more open and flexible to what life throws at me.

Life has thrown me a lot here, and slowly but surely, I am adjusting. Though the safety nets aren’t there to fall back on, I have found myself quite capable without them. The training wheels are off. For the first time in a very long time, I am completely independent, and with this independence comes a learning curve. Learning how to live with women as roommates, learning how to shop effectively and balance a budget, and especially attempting to learn how to cook have proved challenging at times, yet at other times they prove to teach me so much about myself. There is very little room for doubt when you’re hungry after a long day of classes, salsa, and running errands. There is only room for ingenuity and creativeness– and out of that creativity came this dinner.

https://photos.app.goo.gl/DChwtN88bXH6V4p7A

Cooking, just like other skills, develops over time, and I was incredibly proud of myself for making something small work. I felt like a real adult. This was when I realised that Adulting isn’t having everything planned out, or knowing what you’re doing(Though those things help). In fact, you could say it is the opposite. Adulting is not knowing how to balance your time and figuring it out. Adulting is branching out of your comfort zone and hanging out with locals. Adulting, despite what I may have thought when I was younger, is incredibly scary–but that’s what makes it fun.